This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
