He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
