He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
