We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
