this beer tastes like vomit already
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
