Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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