We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
