as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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