So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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