Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize