So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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