alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
