Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
