Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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