My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
