There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
