break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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