I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soap is not a condiment
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
