If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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