Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
