I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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