Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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