TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
