i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
