Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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