I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize