i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
