Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
