did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
