I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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