We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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