Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
