One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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