moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
being pregnant is like rehab
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
