your thong is hanging out like whoa
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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