you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
