im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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