We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
