it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize