nut hugger
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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