I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
