I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
