Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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