youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
