I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My first STD was from a foam party
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
