Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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