Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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