Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I puked a lego.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize