you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
