You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize