you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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