you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
