just tell him i said nine months
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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