You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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