I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
