Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
