So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
