It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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