Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
