I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
As shirtless as possible
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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