Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize